Sunday, January 8, 2006

.... moving on....

There were so many things that happened in our lives. Some were happy, some were sad. Some were enlightening, some were disheartening.

And in every step of the way of those moments, we met people.. different people who in one way or another left certain markings in our hearts. These people made us laugh, cry, wonder, motivated, inspired. These people made us feel special or dumb. They made us different or just exactly the same like the others.

Once in my life, I thought I already met the person who really made me special. Yup, that person made me laughed. Oh only if you could see the smile at my face then. But the same person was the reason why other people laughed at me. That was the same person who allowed others to scoff at me and did nothing to rescue me. And I cried. Yup, that person made me cry. Actually, for many instances and for several reasons, I wept. I hope those were tears of joy, but they were not. Most of the time, matters of the heart everybody would wish not to experience. But no one’s spared from heartaches. It was inevitable.

Regrets? I am not sure. Of course, if you’re in pain, there are so many ifs and only ifs and maybes and perhaps. There were things you wished you could undo but shits always happen and one has to deal with it.

I never thought I could love another soul just like that. I never imagined myself to be capable of that. Whew! That person must be that special for me to go down on earth and love a mortal! Bwahahaha… Seriously, if only I could share with you the things that made me just like another human who moved heaven and hell just for another soul.

Is it wrong to love and care for another soul? Maybe not. What made it a wake-up call to me was I realized that the person did not love me at all. I realized if that soul really did, no tears or heartaches for me, scorning people would not be allowed to enter in our lives. And of course, a better judgement for me should have been there in the first place.

But things happened already. And people and feelings of the past should be forgotten. Time to move on and see new places and faces. But I must be thankful to that soul. Why? Thank you for gracing my life then. Thank you for making me believe that I was special to you and you appreciated me. Thank you for making me happy. I know you stayed before just to make me happy and you were my happiness then but it did not follow that you loved me. Salamat.

Thank you for opening my eyes that there are other fishes in the ocean who will take me as I am, no buts or ifs. Another soul who will not be a prisoner of his own misdoings and evil of money. Another soul who knows how to treasure a gem.

Soul, if there will come a time that our paths would cross again, worry not. I will treat you just like an acquaintance and nothing else. But just like I said, what goes around, comes around, and I do not want to wait for that time.

1 comment:

  1. Hi anne! Letting go is the hardest thing to do...what can i say, life sucks! But there will always be rainbow after the rain minsan nga lang nakatago sa ulap pero andun pa rin!

    Hope you'll feel better soon...


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